Conversation with my Mom today
Mom: When I was your age I was so skinny I was able to count all my ribs and feel my hipbones, but you know what, I wasn't happy. I am happier now than I ever was then.
Me: Well... that's because you're old.
Mom: True, the fucks just roll off my back.
being cremated is my last hope of getting a hot, smoking body
(Source: guy, via tardis-enterprise)
when u tell ur friend a plot twist for ur story
petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’
what about alaska
are we then normal canada
canada a bit to the left
What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?
i cried my ass of laughing
i caN’T BREATHE OH MY GOD
I’m not even from Canada but I approve this change of names